When the creators of the wildly-successful iPhone game Angry Birds sold the rights to their characters for a movie, they probably expected to cash in on the game’s colorful, cheery, and comic destruction in a nice film for kids. What they probably didn’t expect (we hope) is that Hollywood would inadvertently create a fluffily-packaged indoctrination manual for xenophobic white supremacists to introduce their kids to irrational hatred.
Here’s the basic plot of the Angry Birds movie: a bunch of birds live on an island, and it’s great. One of the birds, Red, voiced by Jason Sudeikis, is a bit of an outcast, and when a bunch of pigs show up on the island, no one listens to him when he says the pigs are shady. Sure enough, the pigs steal the birds’ eggs, and bird island turns to Red, the Angry Bird, to get them back. Sounds innocuous enough, but with not-a-whole-lot of creative plot analysis and a general disposition to make everything about race, white supremacists have managed to see almost every nuance of Angry Bird’s plot as a big allegory for illegal immigration and the dangers of other cultures mixing with their pure blood. Red tries to save the Avian race, the neo-Nazis try to save the Aryan race.
And, no, we’re not making this shit up. The New Republic has a brief breakdown of the various racist hives of Angry Birds fandom: On the neo-Nazi website Counter Currents Publishing (warning, that link takes you to a Nazi website, which like, ew), a man named Gregory Hood published a 2,217-word analysis of how Nazi parents can make their kids just as Nazi as they are by taking them to see Angry Birds. Let’s set aside the hilarious and terrifying beauty of living in a world where Nazis write 2000-plus words about children’s movies and dive right in.
When the West was great, our children were raised with stories and sagas, folk tales and common prayer. Today, they are raised by corporate franchises, worship SJW superheroes, and experience reality through a screen. We must resist and turn to older, better ways. But in The Current Year, all too often the best many parents can do is find some movie that’s not completely pozzed they can take their children to.
That movie has emerged. It’s time to redpill your children. It’s time to take them to see The Angry Birds Movie.
Damn, Gregory, that is one HELL of an endorsement right there. Here’s why a probable neo-Nazi says Angry Birds is just so great:
“The moral lesson of the movie isn’t that we should tolerate other cultures or that we are all the same under the skin,” Hood writes. “Instead, it’s that we should be suspicious of Ausländers and that some groups are simply enemies, full stop.”
Oh. Well. That’s not so chill, Hood. And to be fair, he does have a point — The Angry Birds Movie is pretty fucking violent.
Peace was never an option.
The eggs aren’t reclaimed through negotiation with the pigs. Instead, the birds literally bomb and destroy their entire city, with Piggy Island essentially obliterated by the end of the movie. Though you don’t actually see this happen to anyone, the birds occasionally mention the reality of death and the fact they are risking their lives. This also suggests some of the pigs are actually being killed in the firestorm. Though the movie ends with a kind of song and dance number post-credits with some pigs dancing in the ruins, it’s hard to believe all of these pigs are still alive after this war. Violence is Golden, even in Angry Birds.
He’s not the only awful, violent bigot to take a shine to the movie, either. This “movement” has also given us this little piece of internet gold:
Granted, The Angry Birds Movie’s really weird attitudes toward immigration, race, and violence have been pretty well known for a while. Vox’s initial review suggested that the film should have just gone full Trump, but the controversy is gaining steam again after its release to its target demographics of Americans aged five to 13 — and Nazis of any age. Sure, The Angry Birds Movie may have been an easy target, but we’re both terrified and eagerly awaiting whatever the Nazis manage to make out of Tetris: The Movie or Fruit Ninja. Or, y’know, they can always wait for the sequel.