'Game of Thrones' Season 6 Will End With Two Supersized, Perfectly Named, Episodes

The titles and running times of Season 6's last two episodes are straight up trolling George R.R Martin 

The finale of Season 6 — otherwise known as the last normal, 10 episode long Game of Thrones season we’re ever going to get, as the last two will likely be abbreviated — is going to be called “The Winds of Winter.” Seriously. It will be 69 minutes long, which will make it the longest episode in GoT’s history.

Along with episode 9, which will be 60 minutes and called “The Battle of The Bastards” (I wonder what will happen in that episode?), it will be directed by Miguel Sapochnik, who directed Season 5’s “Hardhome.”

No vague descriptions have been made available yet, but there’s a lot to unpack in these wars to come.

Fan theories continue to be right

“The Battle of The Bastards” is a term that has been floating around since before Season 6 even started. Even before Jon Snow returned, fans correctly guessed he would have an epic fight with Ramsay. They coined it “The Battle of The Bastards” just for fun, but that’s what the episode is actually going to be called. This joins the recently proven fan theory that Coldhands might be Benjen Stark, The Gravedigger is Sandor Clegane, and Lyanna Stark is probably Jon Snow’s mother. At this point, the Game of Thrones writers are essentily working to make all internet theories cannon.

Showrunner David Benioff has already said it will be bigger than “Hardhome” and “Blackwater” combined, so even if Cleganebowl doesn’t happen this season, there is something to get hype about.

Winds of Winter is actually coming

As we have long maintained, Winds of Winter the book is never coming. George R.R. Martin has clearly lost his motivation — and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Every author experiences writer’s block, and if he’d rather take the time to catch up on sweet TV, that’s fine. He’s got mostly good taste, Penny Dreadful is indeed great; Outlander has been a struggle this season but good for him for enjoying it.

What Martin really needs is a ghostwriter to expedite the process, but so long as he doesn’t get one, Winds of Winter will continue to never come. By getting an episode called The Winds of Winter though, we’ll at least get some form of a story set in Westeros called The Winds of Winter.

White Walkers are going to straight wreck some shit

The other meaning for “The Winds of Winter,” of course, is that after six seasons of characters ominously saying “winter is coming,” it’s actually fucking coming. After the White Walkers have been marching at a snail’s pace — remember when Sam ran from the Army of the Dead way back in Season 2? — they’re finally taking some of Littlefinger and Theon and Yara’s teleporting pills. (Seriously, how did Theon and Yara get from the Iron Islands to Volantis in like two days?)

Winter is finally coming, and The Night’s King is going to fuck some shit up.

The episodes will air on June 19 and June 26.

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