Aside from making the internet lose its collective mind over his fate, Jon Snow is famous for two things on Game of Thrones: His pout and his hair. The Northern bastard’s renowned locks are practically their own character. After all, they have their own contract. Much like a direwolf’s tail, Jon’s signature coif is a barometer of his mood. Before he definitely doesn’t return from the dead in Season 6 — he was only spotted on set because he was playing a corpse for three months, guys; leave Kit Harington alone! — let’s take a trip down memory lane and revisit the most misunderstood character on Game of Thrones: Jon Snuuuh’s hair.
Baby Jon’s Hair
At the beginning of Season 1, Jon Snow doesn’t even sport his signature scruff yet. His face is disconcertingly smooth and he looks approximately twelve years old. To accompany his youthful insecurity, his hair droops with untapped potential.
Jon Finds Ghost Hair
When Jon and Ghost begin their beautiful relationship in Season 1, Jon has no idea that this runt of the litter will become a loyal companion who rises to the occasion — as it turns out, their fates are intertwined. It’s almost like the writers did it on purpose, or something. Note how his hair is slightly fluffier, to welcome his fluffy new friend.
Jon Joins The Night’s Watch Hair
Jon’s primary traits are his sense of honor and his earnestness. When he takes his Night’s Watch vows, to accompany this spirit, his hair is neater than usual and curls into his collar.
Jon Is Having A Rough Day Hair
Life is tough for Jon Snow. There’s a reason his most famous feature, aside from his hair, is his pout. It doesn’t even matter which episode the below gif is from, because it perfectly encapsulates Jon. His signature coif is dancing mournfully in the wind like its own funeral march, and his pout reaches truly epic proportions. Jon’s hair is in its most natural habitat, here. Talk quietly so you don’t disturb it.
Jon Invents Cunnilingus Hair
Who can forget that time in Season 3 when Jon gives into Ygritte’s advances and invents cunnilingus the first time he ever has sex? To signify that he’s all grown up — and is effortlessly a baller — his hair has a confident bed-head cast and hangs a little to the left.
Jon’s Angst, Beyond The Wall, Hair
Another Jon Snow classic, this sideways windswept cast is as topsy-turvy as his conflicted soul, torn between heart and duty. Too much? Never. We don’t fuck around with the topic of Jon Snow’s hair.
Jon Makes His Move Hair
Season 3 is when Jon really comes into his own. When he decides to blow his cover with the Wildings, leave Ygritte and return to Castle Black, it’s a truly tough decision. To signify that shit is getting real and his actions are swift and brutal, his sodden hair has no time for style.
Jon Defends The Wall Hair
Season 4’s “The Watchers on the Wall” is a major transition episode for Jon. In Season 5, Maester Aemon tells him that in order to become a man, he must “kill the boy.” That process begins in Season 3 with Jon’s undercover Wilding adventures and aforementioned cunnilingus-invention, but his defense of The Wall is what truly sets him up to become Lord Commander in Season 5. To reflect the frenetic battle, his hair is in a chaotic mop.
Jon Can’t Take Compliments Hair
At the beginning of Season 5, Jon is elected Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. When Sam and the rest of the men praise his skill and competence, Jon is almost able to summon a smile. But never let it be said Jon Snow can take a compliment. To signify his discomfort with being the center of attention, his hair blends into the background, just as he secretly wants to.
Jon is Definitely Not Tempted By Redheads Hair
When Melisandre takes a special interest in Jon in Season 5, he resists her advances. Still, it takes him a few moments; he’s clearly feeling a mixture of temptation and alarm. His hair is half in light, half in shadow — perhaps to signify his future rebirth in Melisandre’s flames? The night is dark and full of terrors, and so is Jon’s hair.
Jon is Definitely Not A Targaryen Hair
In Season 5’s “Kill The Boy,” Maester Aemon Targaryen says, “a Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing.” The camera then immediately cuts to Jon entering the room. Nothing to see here, nope.
White Walker Zombie Battle Jon Hair
Battle Jon does not fuck around, and neither does his hair. When he faces off against The Night’s King and the army of the dead in “Hardhome,” his hair means business. It’s in his face, but it hangs with purpose.
Dead Jon Hair
Dead Jon’s hair fans out in the snow, inky and sad just like his blood. But are there clues in it? Perhaps its shaped like a dragon or a wolf? We’ll have to find out on Sunday.
Kit Harington Sits on a Thrones of Lies Hair
Kit Harington has publicly proclaimed his intentions to cut his hair as soon as he can, and yet, Jon Snow’s locks have remained in place all year, through every “Jon is dead forever” interview he’s stammered his way through. The hair’s contract is surely null, and yet, it remains.
He can finally stop lying on Sunday, when Jon’s hair returns dead or alive in Season 6. Jon Snow might know nothing, but his hair knows everything.