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Here's What that "Shocking" 'Star Wars' News Really Really Means

Lucasfilm

Luke Skywalker suffered the biggest “shock” of his life at the edge of Cloud City. Upon learning that Darth Vader was his father, he let out an agonized scream for the ages. Supposedly, another shocking truth is coming to the Star Wars universe in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, but don’t be too quick to believe it.

Star Wars News Net, a popular fansite, published a post on Tuesday detailing some “shocking” news from a Japanese promotional leaflet for The Last Jedi. Once translated into English, the leaflet promised that “The most shocking truth in Star Wars history will soon be revealed!”

But here’s the thing: the leaflet doesn’t tell us anything new about The Last Jedi, and Star Wars is built on shock factor — much like rebellions are built on hope.

The leaflet says Rey has met up with Luke Skywalker, the “only remaining Jedi Knight,” that Han Solo is dead, that Kylo Ren is Darth Vader’s successor and a “high-ranking enforcer in the First Order,” and that Leia Organa, Poe Dameron, Finn, and BB-8 will “embark on a new mission.” Star Wars fans have known all of that for a while.

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And as for the shocking ending everyone seems to be freaking out about? That’s how movies work. That’s how the Star Wars franchise works. Darth Vader is Luke’s father. Luke and Leia are brother and sister (ew, didn’t they kiss?). The entire Rogue One crew died retrieving the Death Star plans. Kylo, that little shit, killed Han.

Basically, shocking doesn’t really exist in the Star Wars universe. And that’s especially true considering how active the Star Wars fandom is. What could possibly shock the fandom at this point? Every theory about Rey’s parents and Luke’s potential demise have been debated on Reddit. A huge section of Tumblr is convinced Kylo is going to switch back over to the good side. A lot of people are convinced Snoke is Mace Windu (he’s not).

Nothing shocks Star Wars fans anymore because they’ve already figured out every possible direction the franchise could go in. And with no new information to go off of, there’s not much else to be said.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi premieres in theaters December 15.

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