There have been plenty of crappy time travel movies about what changing your past does to your present, but now there’s an episode of a semi-crappy animated TV series to add to that list as well. This week on Jeff and Some Aliens, Sammy the extraterrestrial didn’t exactly travel through — he changed Jeff’s memories instead. Jeff forced his alien buddy to make him a multi-millionaire version of Elon Musk if Musk created a smoothie empire instead of Tesla.
First, Sammy unceremoniously unveiled some kind of laser contraption that had the ability to change people’s minds when you shoot it at them. He first used it on Jimmy and Ted to steal money from their bank accounts. But after Jeff caught wind of Sammy’s E.T. technology, he forced his alien pal to pull an Inception to implant good memories in his mind instead of all of his sad ones.
In the new memories, Guns N’ Roses played at Jeff’s childhood birthday, and he was surrounded by Playboy bunnies. He won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in high school, a Nobel Peace Prize, and a gold medal at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. Jeff’s climbed Mount Everest, and, best of all, finally found a pair of pants that fit. But, he soon realizes he needs bad memories, too.
He tells Sammy about Musk’s and Steve Jobs’s lousy childhoods, explaining how it gave them the work ethic and tenacity to become rich. “That’s the kind of psychological pain I need,” he says. Driven by these new, painful memories, Jeff forces a hostile takeover at his job at a smoothie shop, turning it into a multi-million dollar startup. Once Jeff realizes how much of an asshole his new persona has made him, he decides to go back to the way he was. “There’s gotta be a way to make money without screwing people over, right?”
Nope. The smoothie shop’s stocks plummet, and he’s back to being regular old Jeff.
It’s worth noting, probably, that Elon Musk publicly denied that he was an alien this very week. Something to think about.