Apple Airpods Stay in During "Rough, Aggressive Sex"

Oh good.


Apple’s AirPods became available this week after an unexplained delay. Apple fans just seem pleased that a pair of wireless headphones actually hit the shelves before the new year.

While there are many wireless headphone options on the market, for Apple fans, nothing beats wireless Airpods. There was just one problem: Airpods predictably can fall out of your ears. There are cheap Airpod straps already on the market but that hasn’t stopped freestyle Airpod wearers from losing them.

“My right ear? Snug as a bug,” said user AGIANTSMURF in the Apple subreddit. “But my left ear… the fucking Grand Canyon…”

AGIANTSMURF sums up the duality of the Apple fandom. A few paranoid consumers have guessed that Apple purposefully made the Airpods prone to slipping out, requiring a few people spend another $159 on a new pair.

Not everyone has the problem of their Airpods falling out there, especially if they are stuck in your ear snugly enough to allow for headbanging:

“For those wondering, they also stay in during rough/aggressive sex,” said Reddit user i_hate_robo_calls, answering a question almost nobody was wondering.

It’s a tricky issue for an otherwise solid pair of earphones. The custom W1 chip, which automatically pairs with your nearby Apple devices, makes Bluetooth a breeze in a way that’s normally frustrating. They reportedly don’t sound too bad, and their carrying case (which charges them at the same time) is a neat little bit of engineering. Plus, they look kinda cool and futuristic.

Famed Apple vlogger iJustine (real name Justine Ezarik) reviewed the headphones in a video uploaded Monday and … yeah, they do fall out sometimes. In an otherwise positive review, in which she praised the sound quality, Siri responsiveness, and ease of setup, Ezarik admitted the fit was a big letdown. “These are not gonna stay in my ears very well, and I’m a little bit upset about it,” she said.

It’s unlikely that Apple will redesign the AirPods. Even in the days of the iPod, Apple has preferred simple earbuds. They look nice, they’re small, and they fit a lot of earholes. So what if a couple of earphones disappear down the drain? People shove plenty of stuff down the plughole!

So, how can people protect their purchase? With EarPods, users can plump for a pack of third-party silicon covers, like these $10 ones from EarSkinz. There are some more elaborate designs, like the EarHookz that push harder into the ear. Or there’s the EarBudi that loops over the external ear, providing something even more secure. And yeah, there’s also the strap.

Some have opted for something more drastic:

If all these fail and you lose a single AirPod? Fear not! Apple is offering single replacement earbuds for the low price of $69, which the internet reacted to in predictable fashion.


Stay classy.

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