President-elect Donald Trump is still stocking his administration, and earlier this month he named former Texas governor and Dancing With the Stars contestant Rick Perry to be the United States Secretary of Energy. This is a bit worrying, since some experts think Perry’s resume has some gaps that are required to lead a department that largely focuses on nuclear weapons. Also, Perry infamously pledged to eliminate the department while forgetting its name. Oops.
But I’m especially concerned because this means Perry is going to be in charge of the Upside Down. That’s right, Perry’s heading up the Department of Energy — the bad guys behind all the mayhem and chaos in Netflix’s Stranger Things.
It was the DOE’s research into parallel worlds that let the Demogorgon into our plane of existence. Barb, and several other people who weren’t as important as Barb, died because of the DOE’s work.
“It’s all just fiction,” you’re probably saying. Is it though? Is it?
When Stranger Things came out, the real DOE issued a statement saying that it is nothing like the evil agency in the show. “The Energy Department doesn’t explore parallel universes,” it declared, adding that it also doesn’t “mess with monsters” and its National Laboratory scientists “aren’t evil.”
Except the DOE lied to us! In an October interview, current Secretary of Energy Ernest Moniz said that the department does dabble in the Upside Down. “[I] will note that we do work in parallel universes,” he told host Chelsea Handler. Around the same time, a journalist with the Washington Free Beacon FOIA’s the DOE’s emails surrounding their response to Stranger Things, and found that they were trying to dupe us. Then the DOE taunted him on Twitter.
Furthermore, we know that the government has done research involving sensory deprivation tanks. Maybe Perry wants to start up research again? We’ve been lied to so much by the DOE that I just don’t know what to believe.
Also, Rick Perry just straight-up looks like Dr. Brenner, the senior research scientist as Hawkins National Lab and Eleven’s abusive “papa.”
All I’m saying is this: Do we really want Rick Perry to be in control of nuclear weapons and telekinetic pre-teens? Think about it, America.