rick and morty adidas speedportal shoes cleats

Futbol Is Life

Rick and Morty emerge from hiatus for a hilarious new Adidas ad

This feels like a green herring.

Adult Swim / Adidas

If there’s anything that Morty Smith and his mad scientist grandfather Rick Sanchez are good at in the Rick and Morty offseason, it’s making some extra shmeckles on the side by indulging in some good old-fashioned advertising. They’ve previously peddled Pringles chips, Old Spice deoderant, Carl's Jr. sandwiches, and even the one and only PlayStation 5. And now, Rick has designed some super-special soccer cleats so that anybody in the multiverse can become better at footy if they give Adidas some money. (Or are they football cleats? I don’t even know anymore.)

What Happened — Adult Swim and Adidas announced Tuesday a new collaboration on the X Speedportal “boot,” which “unlocks new dimensions of speed for the players of Earth.” Along with it comes a 90-second ad for the shoes that feels like a super-short Rick and Morty episode.

As is Rick and Morty ad tradition, Rick wakes his grandson up in the middle of the night. “You’re gonna be a football star, Morty!” he yells. “The sport you play with your foot and a ball.” Rick is careful to note that it might be soccer depending on where the ad airs.

Down in Rick’s lab, we see some “consensual science” at play: Football stars Mohamed Salah and Vivianne Miedema both appear in tanks of green liquid having their soccer powers siphoned into a pair of neon cleats. (Rick’s setup here looks remarkably similar to the tanks used to clone Beth back in Season 3, but clearly, the science here is quite different!)

“From me, you will receive the gift of dribbling and finishing,” Salah says.

“And I, Vivianne Miedema, grant you the power of the striker and speed with or without the ball,” she adds. “As well as the ability to eat traditional Dutch cuisine.” (Hint: It’s raw herring.) Rick also rattles off an extensive list of marketing terms before sending Morty off to win the International Unlicensed Cup, which is a real Space Jam situation where humans — Morty, Salah, and Miedema — face off against weird bipedal aquatic aliens. Even the soccer balls are sentient somehow.

A Dutch announcer refers to Morty as a “Puppet Boy” with “wiggly arms,” which is pretty accurate considering the X Speedportal’s take control of his body.

Raw herring!Adult Swim / Adidas

Morty easily wins. It wouldn’t be much of an advertisement if he didn’t, right? The only thing he wants as the greatest footballer in the world is some raw herring. At least he winds up feeling more fulfilled than ever before at the expense of some seriously fishy breath. Rick is quick to press the “reset” button however before “Mortys with too much self-actualization upset the dynamic.”

How They Work — No, these shoes do not actually channel “multidimensional speed” in the multiversal sense, but official materials promise that these cleats have “been designed for the fastest players whilst remaining supremely comfortable, helping them unlock speed in all dimensions.”

“In 2022, speed is multi-dimensional, encompassing mental quickness, positioning, space creation, and more,” Adidas Senior Product Manager Franziska Aurnhammer said in a press release. There’s a lightweight sole plate to help with acceleration and an “all-new multidimensional stud design gives players grip to get moving in any direction.” There’s also a “stability wing and support cage which keeps players feet locked in so they can play with absolute freedom when moving fast and changing direction.”

The X Speedportal cleats come in various models.Adidas / Adult Swim

In short, these shoes support “explosive movement” and provide enough comfort so that players can “enter a flow state where movement is fast and autonomous.”

These shoes might not transform you into a puppet boy with arms flailing, but they’d definitely improve your footie game if you’re looking for a splashy neon design that evokes a Rick and Morty portal.