The Marvel Universe has gone red, white, and blue with the launch of U.S.Avengers, a new series from Al Ewing about the reformed A.I.M., now sanctioned by the government to replace a disgraced S.H.I.E.L.D. Following months of teases, Marvel at last revealed every issue #1 variant cover dedicated to each of the 50 states — plus Canada, Puerto Rico, and, um, Great Britain — along with each state’s designated Avenger. But here’s the kicker: Somewhere around only 12 make sense.

These assignments aren’t canonical. Iron Man will not exclusively protect California — in fact, Iron Man is kinda dead. But still, some states might hate being stuck with D-listers like Jack of Trades, Two-Gun Kid, and — LOL — Whizzer. Sorry, South Dakota, Wyoming, and Missouri.

Some choices do fit: Hawaii, New Jersey, New York, Louisiana, and Illinois are repped by hometown heroes Havok, Ms. Marvel, Luke Cage, Spectrum, and Beast, respectively. It feels right that Captain Marvel represents Massachusetts, a state that’s proud of its colonial heritage, while the speedster mutant Quicksilver gets Virginia, the home of NASCAR.

But the rest are mind-boggling. Sam Wilson represents Maryland, but why isn’t Steve Rogers given Washington, D.C. (which has Vision)? Why’s Doctor Strange Pennsylvania? Why Namor for North Carolina? Who thought Iron Fist for Rhode Island was a good idea? What the hell is a “D-Man”? Who thought of giving Spider-Man ANY STATE besides New York? And why the bloody hell does Great Britain get a variant?

Whatever. The covers are cute and make an American flag, so that’s something. And it could have been worse: Marvel could have given Speedball to Connecticut.

See all 50 state variants below, along with the new variants including Puerto Rico and Washington, D.C.

Marvel Avengers States
All 50 state variants of 'U.S.Avengers' #1.

Below are Puerto Rico and Washington, D.C., not included among the 50 states. Puerto Rico gets White Tiger, one of the most prominent Latina superheroes in the Marvel Universe.

White Tiger Marvel
White Tiger, on 'U.S.Avengers' #1.

Vision, meanwhile, leads Washington D.C. (How symbolic.)

Vision Marvel
Vision, on the Washington D.C. variant cover of 'U.S.Avengers' #1

U.S.Avengers #1 will be released January 4, 2017.

Photos via Marvel