Intel has turned a Segway into a mobile robotics platform, with the purportedly world-changing transportation device proving rather adept at moving around a “brain” of electronics perched atop a pole.

Don’t worry, you can still ride it. Just try not to think about how close you are to this thing’s wide, joyless eyes:

Intel does intend to release this as a product for sale, but it was only trotted out on display at the CES this week; timing of such a release is entirely unknown.

The robot is presented as a modular base for other applications to come in the future. Developers will have access to an Android SDK for writing their own apps for this next-gen Johnny Five, and a slot on the robot’s “back” makes him (we’ve just given it a gender) rather expandable.

Segway’s press kit offers pictures of assorted use cases in action. He’s got arms, for example:

He asks you where you are when you’re lost:

He stalks your family and loved ones:

He barters for doughnuts:

He engages in the vibrant world of street art:

He’s indifferent to the emotional needs of golden retrievers:

He plays “stay.”

Here’s the sight that CES visitors were treated to: