Science

These CES 2016 Hype Videos Are Ridiculous Because That's How Tech Rolls

Drama! Intrigue! Voiceovers! Bluetooth!

Screenshot

The Consumer Electronics Show is like the Superbowl but more corporate. Every January, the tech world’s entrepreneurs, retailers, and journalists convene in Las Vegas to exchange money, favors, start-up swag, business cards, and fluids. It’s an orgy of commerce and it’s too big for any one person to see everything. That’s why companies turn their hype machines to 11 before the big day. And that’s also why the CES hype vid renaissance is upon us.

When done well, these videos can be artful and impactful all at once, inspiring intrigue that leads to press coverage and heavy booth traffic. When done extravagantly (hubristically?), they get silly — awesomely silly.

Here are five best/worst teaser for CES 2016.

Snapdragon Flight drones

Is it a commercial for a consumer drone, or a trailer for a new ass-kicking military thriller starring The Rock? Qualcomm wants you to know that its new drone, the Snapdragon Flight, is serious business to be underscored by a harsh, dubstep-y soundtrack as it darts around its environment. Fear this mighty quadcopter, understand?

The blast of bass at 51 seconds in will leave you chuckling.

Bosch blenders

You can make musical sounds with all kinds of unlikely objects: spoons, a blade of grass held between your thumbs, even popsicle sticks. But a company called Bosch has upped the ante in a major way, syncing its blenders in such that they play a popular Christmas tune.

In the teaser video, the blenders appear to be turning cookies and oranges into a unique arrangement of “Jingle Bells.” It’s called the “Sensorchestra,” and it will purportedly make its live debut at CES 2016 per Bosch’s video description.

LG Watch Urbane

With all the vague drama of a soap opera combined with every perfume commercial in the world, this teaser for a new watch by LG will leave you passionately longing…for something? The LG Urbane is a rather fine-looking timepiece, but score it with rolling piano music and add motion graphics that form sales copy out of ethereal dust in the air, and it becomes a bit too much to take with a straight face.

Huawei CarFi

Do you want a wifi network in your car? Maybe. Do you want green demons of electricity to attack your passengers’ devices? Definitely. Huawei’s CarFi plugs into your car’s cigarette lighter adapter to do one or the other, we’re not sure which. This teaser’s shot of a stationary car at 32 seconds in, wheels spinning with its interior lit up from the green glow of the demons, will leave you scratching your head.

Volkswagen’s Mystery Ad

Volkswagen is rumored to be developing new electric vehicles. This 10-second teaser video went out on Twitter, and though the company made use of every sweet second of video that Twitter will allow, it still tries to cram in all the same intrigue and drama that other teasers do without such time limitations. As a 10-second clip of car closeups and a Volkswagen logo at the end, this teaser says little more than “the guys who make the Beetle are going to be at CES.”