McDonald’s has been changing things up — a lot — as of late. Slipping sales led to store closings, but the financial trouble has also made the company more nimble and creative. All-day breakfast has been a hit and has led to some totally interesting, very American dining choices. Now, McDonald’s has said it will replace the value-driven Dollar Menu & More with McPick 2. For $2, a customer has the choice of two of the following items: McChicken, McDouble, mozzarella sticks, and small French fries. Now, it’d be difficult to call anything involving only four rotating parts open to hacking, but let’s wrap our minds around these options.
Happy Hour McAppetizer
You’re about to grab some drinks with a Hinge date. It’s time to get something greasy up in there. Mozz sticks and fries it is. And because there are only three sticks per order, you should still be able to tie one on if your date is a Trump supporter.
Grab the McChicken and McDouble to really show those animals and vegans who is boss. You are an equal-opportunity consumer of dead flesh. Chicken, good. Beef, good. Meat, good.
You order two McDoubles, toss the buns off of one and stack four patties of cattle onto one sandwich that proves you fear no beast, meat sweat, sodium overdose, or McPick type 2 diabetes.
Oh, you got a McChicken and small fries there, huh? Or you went for the McDouble and fries? I just fell asleep during your order.
Your Hinge date is over and you’re hammered. You stumble back to McDonald’s and order a McChicken and the mozzarella sticks. Then, you smash the sticks ‘n’ marinara sauce onto the chicken in a twisted, unholy matrimony that somewhat resembles a chicken parmigiana sandwich. This is how you do it. This is how you McPick 2.