Please no. Please no.

Vulture did an interview with David Nevins, president of Showtime, about the state of the network. It’s a good interview with some delightful tidbits about the new Twin Peaks including the update that David Lynch is about halfway through production YAYYYYYY and that the negotiations for budgets were just a disaster and Nevins doesn’t seem too upset about the period where Lynch bailed on his own project — which bodes well for future Twin Peaks Productions.

Then the interviewer makes a terrible mistake that I will hold against them if this ever comes to pass.

Since the show will be in the can by the time it airs, you’ll be able to release all the episodes at once if you want. Is that under consideration at all?

I haven’t considered the various possibilities. I believe in a weekly release schedule, and I think David does, too. But as we get further down the road, we’ll discuss it.

C’mon. No no no no a scream in the distance no no no a baby crawls out of a radiator and gives you a candy cane no no no.

Of all the things that should never be binged, the bizarre anti-art of Lynch’s faux-soap opera is most certainly one. Anyone who has sat through Fire Walk With Me knows that a little Lynch can go a long way, and I feel a terrible darkness crawling through me as I imagine taking on 12 straight hours of this.

Collectively, we here at Inverse believe that David Lynch might be taking this opportunity to destroy all of reboot culture by releasing something so antithetical to what the fans wanted that it will teach us all an important lesson about letting go of our darlings. After all, it is hard to list the original Lynch works from the last decade-plus that anyone has strong feelings about, in either direction.

If you’re already getting too excited for this reboot, maybe reel that in with our roundup of Lynch’s artiest art cinema.