Russian scientist Anatoli Brouchkov claims he has used a frozen bacteria to discover the key to “eternal life,” The Siberian Times reports. Who would’ve thought the Fountain of Youth was in Siberia? Well, there’s water on Mars, so I guess anything is possible. This, however, likely isn’t.

The bacteria in question, Bacillus F, was first found in 2012 in Mamontovaya, Yakutia in the Sakha Republic of Siberia. It’s purportedly been frozen for 3 million years. Once discovered, scientists began injecting mice with the bacteria and claimed they were healthier as a result. The mice apparently showed “higher … glutamate [‘psychic stimulation’] and taurine [‘energetic processes’], and have properties of immune regulation and prolonging life expectancy the cell.” One doctor even told the Daily Mail that, due to the bacteria, “mice grannies not only began to dance, but also produced offspring.”

Brouchkov apparently likes to dance, so he decided to inject himself with Bacillus F. The geocryologist has since claimed, “I started to work longer, I’ve never had a flu for the last two years.” Granted, he did qualify, “It wasn’t quite a scientific experiment, so I cannot professionally describe the effects.” Still, the “discovery” is getting a fair bit of traction. All Brouchkov has done, though, is have a nice stretch of health. No scientific journal articles and no clinical trials mean we’re probably dealing with a natural phenomenon known colloquially as “coincidence,” unless you think that’s too big a leap to think a guy could go two full years without a flu.

I reached out to a university professor of microbiology, who wanted to remain unidentified and would not even give me an on-the-record quote. Folks with degrees don’t discuss if it’s not in the literature. And for good reason. Great for Brouchkov if he thinks he can cheat the Reaper, but the Bacillus F injections sound like a really long placebo effect. A flu vaccine remains a better bet if you want to survive the winter in one piece.