President Donald Trump wants to bring American armed forces to space. While we’re not living in a G.I. Joe cartoon, the U.S. President actually called this new sixth branch of the United States military a “space force.” Twitter, being Twitter, has some ideas about how ridiculous that sounds.
On Monday, President Trump announced the creation of a space force during a speech at the National Space Council meeting inside the White House. Trump was originally meant to reveal policies surrounding lightening up congestion of debris in Earth’s orbit, but instead, he announced a space force.
“We must have American dominance in space,” Trump said. “Very importantly, I am hereby directing the Department of Defense and Pentagon to immediately begin the process necessary to establish a Space Force as the Sixth Branch of the Armed Forces.”
“That’s a big statement,” the President added. “We are going to have the Air Force and we are going to have the Space Force. Separate but equal.” (Yes, Trump actually said “separate but equal.”)
This is the second time within a year the President talked about the idea. Back in March, Trump first talked about a space force — seemingly off the cuff — as a “new national strategy” that “recognizes space as a war-fighting domain” akin to land, sea, and air. While Russia and China have both made strides in recent years to include space as part of military strategy, it still sounds cartoonish, especially coming out of Trump.
“Rich guys seem to like rockets,” Trump said during his speech. “Explain that. They do like rockets for some reason.”
Anyway, “space force” sounds ridiculous, and Twitter responded with the appropriate memes. Just what would a United States Space Force look like? Here are some wild ideas.
11. Trump’s “Space Force” is Like ‘Infinity War,’ But Worse:
Because, honestly, who else would you want in the Space Force but the Predator (a ruthless alien killer), Darth Vader (samurai space Hitler), Thanos (giant genocidial maniac), and the “Aliens!” guy (self-explanatory)?
10. Like ‘Spaceballs,’ But Worse:
“Keep firing, assholes!”
9. Like ‘Black Mirror,’ But Worse:
The Star Trek-themed episode of Black Mirror is pretty apropos, considering the antagonist is the epitome of insecure toxic masculinity.
8. Like “Space Olympics,” But Worse:
All the oxygen has totally run out.
7. Like ‘Starship Troopers,’ But Worse:
No alien bugs (boooo) or Neil Patrick Harris (yay!).
6. Like ‘Power Rangers,’ But Worse:
At least the uniforms are nice. (Also, yes, this one’s mine.)
5. Like ‘Space Jam,’ But Worse:
Come on and slam. And welcome to the jam.
4. Like ‘No Man’s Sky,’ But Worse:
If that’s even possible.
3. Like ‘Dragon Ball Z,’ But Worse:
And like Dragon Ball Z, it’ll take 22 episodes before anyone takes action.
2. Like ‘Star Wars,’ But Worse:
You knew this one was coming.
1. And Finally, Things Are Already Worse:
At the same time Trump announced his space force, he deflected queries about detention centers holding migrant children in cages.
“The United States will not be a migrant camp and it will not be a refugee holding facility. It won’t be,” Trump assured, though he quickly added: “If you look at what’s happening in Europe, if you look at what’s happening in other places, we can’t allow that to happen to the United States — not on my watch.”
A few minutes later, Trump announced the space force.