Russian Police Explain How Not to Die Taking Selfies

It's so bad the police have issued a guide to safe selfies.


All those warnings from top scientists about AI enslaving humanity, all those films about killer robots and conspiracies to trap people in virtual reality prisons, and it turns out all the machines had to do to wipe us out was to put a camera on our phones. That’s all they had to do to wipe out the Russians anyway.

The latest evidence that the selfie is edging from mild annoyance to public health crisis: Russian police have been so inundated with pic-related injuries they’ve been forced to issue a guide to safe selfie taking. Agence France-Presse reports that hundreds of people have hurt themselves, with dozens more sustaining fatal injuries in the full-contact game that is one-upmanship self-portraiture.

The casualties include a teenager who electrocuted himself on live wires trying to get a selfie while climbing a railway bridge and two men who blew themselves up when they tried to get a pic holding a grenade with the pin pulled out. In that last incident, the camera survived, so, well, mission accomplished on some level.

The Russian’s brochure should be easily understandable, with pictures showing you exactly what not to do. The little cautionary tales wander around on rooftops and try to pose with bears. Please don’t do those things, you guys.

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