Flat-Earther Finally Gets His Rocket Up, Still Manages to Disappoint

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After a string of setbacks, on Saturday, flat Earther Michael “Mad Mike” Hughes launched his homemade rocket 1,875 feet into the sky and plummeted back to Earth, which is round, not flat.

For months, the 61-year-old had been squabbling with the Bureau of Land Management over his launch site, a plot of land 200 miles east of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert. He’d also been facing various technical issues with the rocket, leading the launch to get scrubbed several times.

But despite the naysayers, Mad Mike — who sought to see for himself if Earth is truly round, which it is — got the chance to rocket himself up. He appeared to be in stable condition after the launch, but did not disclose whether or not the mission changed his flagrantly absurd opinion that Earth is “shaped like a frisbee.”

“I’m tired of people saying I chickened out and didn’t build a rocket. I’m tired of that stuff. I manned up and did it,” Hughes told the Associated Press after his flight.

While there are many reasons to be confused about Mad Mike, the biggest oxymoron is that he’s a so-called “self-taught” rocket scientist who does not think science is real.

“I don’t believe in science,” Hughes told the AP back in November. “I know about aerodynamics and fluid dynamics and how things move through the air, about the certain size of rocket nozzles, and thrust. But that’s not science, that’s just a formula. There’s no difference between science and science fiction.”

At least Hughes can finally add “rocketeer” to an already extensive resume, including limo driver, daredevil, and aspiring governor of California. Despite his political aspirations, he is currently suing a number of public officials in the state for reasons not entirely clear.

Honestly, a limo driver-turned-flat-Earther-turned-politician would be the least surprising thing of 2018.