New Bubble Wrap Won't Pop Anymore. RIP Fun.

Sealed Air, manufacturers of Bubble Wrap, the world’s leading pointless entertainment and I guess package protection, has created a new version of its iconic protector.

Dubbed “iBubble Wrap,” it’s flatter, more space efficient, and doesn’t pop. So the news here is that they’ve wasted everyone’s time. How deflating.

The new wrap is a fraction of normal Bubble Wrap’s size, which solves problems that have kept Sealed Air from dominating the lucrative package wrap market. Shipping costs for Bubble Wrap are surprisingly high, but the cathartic release from popping those suckers is priceless.

But because this is capitalism, the bottom line matters. Not joy. And not bikes equipped with machine-gun popping translucent cels of pleasure.

Sealed Air will continue to manufacture the older, way cooler Bubble Wrap so as not to burst anyone’s bubble.