Have you ever wanted to eat asbestos? Felt the urge to snack on some packing peanuts? Had an insatiable desire to slurp down a spoonful of spackle?
Well, don’t. But take solace in the knowledge that you’re not alone. The recent Tide Pod eating epidemic has not only poisoned 39 teens, it’s unearthed a like-minded community united by a taboo longing to ingest the inedible. All of a sudden, it’s socially acceptable to broadcast your strange cravings; and in some corners of the internet, it’s encouraged.
If this sounds like your cohort, look no further than the Forbidden Snacks subreddit. The subreddit was created 19 days ago, and it already has over 20,000 readers (“sinners” in r/forbiddensnacks parlance). Here’s the Forbidden Snacks mission statement:
This is a group for people who love (thinking about) doing a CruMch on dice, dominos, plastic clay, slime, tide pods, barbies etc or being nostalgic about the crap you used to chew on.
Anything you know you’ve always wanted to eat/bite but you can’t.
Sounds innocent enough. All the posts on r/forbiddensnacks are jokes (I hope). But here’s the thing — the whole eating Tide Pods debacle started as a joke too, and look where that got us.
With that in mind, here are some candidates for the next Tide Pod:
Apparently, cigarette filters look like “Little Menthol Marshmallows.” You shouldn’t eat these, but someone probably will anyway.
When properly colored and coiled, snakes resembles Krispy Kreme Glazed Donuts. Don’t be fooled! They are snakes.
Depending on your proclivities, insulation looks like either “house meat” or cotton candy. You decide, and then maybe eat something else!
It’s true that packing peanuts look like flavorless Cheetos. Doesn’t that sound appealing?
This geode looks like a delicious cake. Honestly, in this case it’s pretty uncanny.
To the properly trained eye, sealant is not a home improvement aid, but “Delicious house cheez-whiz.” Probably should stay away from eating both sealant and cheez-whiz, just to be safe.
Deodorant not only looks like a mint push pop, it’s widely accessible. My money’s on this guy as the next Tide Pod. Hope I’m wrong!
Ever thought that molten glass looks like spiced honey? This person does too! Maybe wait for it to cool down before tasting.
Seriously, please don’t eat any of this stuff.