Statue of Jesus Was Hiding a 300-Year-Old Note in the Most Ungodly Place

Holy hell.

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Spanish art restorers working on an 18th-century wood carving of Jesus found quite the surprise in his unholy place.

According to Spanish news outlet ABC, restorers from the Da Vinci Restauro company found a “time capsule” hidden in the wooden carving’s ass. The capsule is a two-page-long handwritten document describing social, economic, religious, and political events going on at the time.

It bears repeating that a slice of history and life was hidden for centuries within this seemingly ordinary statue of Jesus. Most importantly, it was hidden in his ass.

“The document, written with careful handwriting, consists of two handwritten sheets on both sides that the restorers found when removing the piece of cloth that covers the buttocks,” ABC reported, originally in Spanish.



So how’d this note get there? Apparently, it was written by a priest of the cathedral Burgo de Osma named Joaquin Minguez. He wanted to leave a record behind about what life was like at that time, and what better place to store it for future generations than Jesus’s butt?

The note suggests that people in this particular village in the 18th century enjoyed “cards” and “ball” among other games, and of course, wine.

“The harvest has been plentiful for many year,” Minguez wrote, referring to the vineyards in his town.

The note in question (ABC)


Though the original document has been sent to archives of the Archbishopric of Burgos, a copy of it will remain inside the statue, which will be returned to the church of Santa Agueda. At least the time capsule’s message will live on just how — and where — its creator intended.

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