Culture

Someone in Germany Got Caught With Trump-Shaped Ecstasy Pills

Sad!

CNN

German police released photographs on Monday of the one Trump-branded product that the president probably isn’t happy to have his name on: around 5,000 ecstasy tablets.

The orange, pressed ecstasy tablets are modeled after President Donald Trump’s famous visage, down to his signature comb-over and twisted lips, as though the drug-president has been captured mid-brag. “We have the best ecstasy tablets,” the pill seems to be saying. “The club music is going to sound so incredible, and you’re going to hug so many people when you take our ecstasy tablets, you won’t even believe it.”

The total sale value of the ecstasy tablets clocks in at around 39,000 euros, or a little under $45,900, according to a statement released by the German police who confiscated the pills.

Nice. 

CNN

The Trump-shaped pills surfaced in Amsterdam in July and are reportedly strong as hell, containing particularly high levels of MDMA, the chemical known in its pure powder form as Molly.

Ecstasy tablets are composed primarily of MDMA and cut with other substances, like synthetic amphetamines. Ecstasy is associated, in general, with rave and club culture, with ecstasy users popping pills in order to dance all night long, connect with fellow club-goers, and really feel the music. Molding pressed ecstasy pills into novelty shapes is a classic branding method employed by drug dealers to connote pill strength and composition, differentiate their own product, and also because it’s kind of fun.

Niiiiice. 

Genius

Trump has not commented on the ecstasy tablets molded in his image, but this reporter strongly suspects that the president is not a big proponent of Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect.