'Geostorm' Trailer Foolishly Wants You to Care About Characters

To much talking! Not enough geostorm!

Warner Bros. Pictures

It’s October. You’ve spent a veritable fortune on a movie ticket, popcorn, and a humongous soda. You sit down to watch a blockbuster disaster movie, Geostorm. Do you want to see a bunch of people talking? Fuck no, you want to see the goddamn geostorm.

The second trailer for Geostorm, though, foolishly spends a lot of its two-and-a-half-minute runtime focusing on the characters that will either die in, escape, or combat the titular geostorm. Like, okay, I understand why we need to give Gerard Butler’s character some screen time, since he’s the dude who runs the malfunctioning weather-controlling satellites. And, fine, he has a little daughter. Whatever. But I don’t care about kidnapping the president in an autonomous taxi when there’s a massive Category Infinity geostorm fucking the Earth right up.

Seriously, weather looks like The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 has a baby, and the trailer’s closing moments focus on the president telling his kidnappers they should get married? Smdh.

To be fair, the first Geostorm trailer didn’t actually include many more shots of the geostorm in action. It was just a shorter trailer that didn’t have time for all these humans, and it was scored to spookier music.

Geostorm, a movie that will no doubt be celebrated for it’s rich, fully developed characters and intricate, emotional plotlines, will premiere in theaters on October 20.

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