6 Reasons to Stay on Your Couch This Weekend

It’s over. We have our next president and this godforsaken election cycle is officially over. The country voted on November 8, and Donald Trump is going to be the 45th president of the United States. And no matter how you voted, doesn’t this just feel like it’s been the longest week ever? Aren’t you exhausted? We are. So we thought we’d comb through the internet and find some streamable movies, shows, and television specials to detox with this weekend.

It’s time to feel all the feelings. As Stephen Colbert said during his live Election Night special, “Whether your side won or lost, we don’t have to do this shit for a while,” so take it easy this weekend; enjoy some good television, and take care of yourself.

1. Shameless (U.S.), Netflix

You’ve probably seen this show bopping around Netflix for a while. It’s enormously entertaining and, if anything, it’s worth a watch just to make you feel like a better person.

Currently in its seventh season, Shameless was inspired by the British show of the same name and follows the story of the Gallagher family in South Chicago. Fathered by the mansplaining alcoholic Frank Gallagher (William H. Macy), the ragtag Gallagher children have been raised by their oldest sister, Fiona (Emmy Rossum), since before most of them can remember. Now, they’re here to steal, lie, chain-smoke, drink, and cheat their way into your heart.

2. John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid, Netflix

From the man who brought you “The Salt and Pepper Diner” comes The Comeback Kid, our pick for an old-fashioned belly laugh that’ll make your tears of exhaustion turn into tears of laughter.

Mulaney hits such topics as lying to your parents about church attendance (see the clip above), black coffee, that time he met Bill Clinton, French Bulldog puppies, real estate, and how weird Back to the Future is when you really think about it. His first special, New in Town, is also on Netflix in case you need a little bit more Mulaney in your life after this taste.

3. Skin Wars, Netflix

So you know how New York Magazine was painting a map of the United States on people as the fate of the nation unfolded? That’s called body painting, and it’s been a bit of a thing lately. There’s even a reality show based around it and — hear us out — it’s hella addicting.

Body painting is a legitimate genre of art these days, so the Game Show Network hired the beautiful and imposing Rebecca Romijn (Mystique in the X-Men series) to host, and got the grande dame of drag, RuPaul Charles, as one of the judges. What results is a sometimes-dramatic and always-entertaining competition.

4. Frozen Planet, Netflix

Yes, you’re probably feeling shitty, but just remember it could be much worse. You could be living in Antarctica and dodging hungry orcas. Instead, you’re at home on your couch, and are about to watch Frozen Planet while you feel bad for the seals.

Narrated by David Attenborough, this BBC documentary is by the same people who did Blue Planet and Planet Earth, so you know it’s going to be good. There was some criticism for its lack of focus on how climate change is affecting the polar regions, but for now, it’s also kind of nice to focus on the epic penguin shots and the baby polar bears.

5. Bob’s Burgers, Netflix

This is another TV show that you might have heard people raving about for a while. There’s a reason for that. The first few episodes of Bob’s Burgers are completely different from the rest of the show — that’s how the creators got Fox to pick it up in the first place, by making it seem like every other one of the network’s shows — but the rest of the series is pure gold.

Bob’s Burgers is focused around the Belcher family: Bob, Linda, Tina, Gene, and Louise, and their restaurant, Bob’s Burgers. As quirky and different as they all are from one another, the Belchers support each other through thick and thin, and Bob and Linda are amazing parents. The story varies wildly, from entire episodes about Tina having a crush, or Louise obsessing over a boy band, to one where the Belcher’s landlord’s brother kidnaps and tries to murder Bob and the landlord, Mr. Fischoeder (voiced by Kevin Kline). A musical number or two tends to make its way in as well.

6. Forrest Gump, Netflix

We all need some wholesome vibes this weekend, and who better to provide that than America’s Dad, Tom Hanks, in his most iconic role to date.

Our guess is that you’ve already seen Forrest Gump — if you haven’t, drop everything you’re doing and go watch it right this second. Are you even a human if you haven’t cried over Forrest’s love for his mother, watched him inspire Elvis, and cheered him on as he ran the entirety of the country, inventing the yellow smiley face along the way? You know you need to smile and you know you need to cry, so what are you waiting for? Run, Forrest, run!