Culture

Donald Trump's Political Legacy? It's Epitomized in His Beef Against Oreos

Future historians will see a bankrupt blowhard who fought a cookie and lost.

Getty Images

Donald J. Trump did not fair well in Iowa and his Twitter backlash frenzy has begun. And while it hasn’t been wise to count Trump out before — he still holds big leads in polls in New Hampshire and South Carolina — reality for the reality show star has set in: People have actually started to vote. It finally feels like the beginning of the end that many have been longing for, and watching this orange-wigged Hindenburg go down will be a show unlike any other.

So, what will Trump’s political legacy be when he finally — ungracefully, for sure — bows out? People will be writing Ph.D. theses about this question in 2150. But here’s a start: Nothing was ever beneath Donald Trump’s dignity — not even starting a falsified, exaggerated, and petty war on Oreos. The man had so much rage to spend, he even went after a cookie.

Mark this as part of the Trump template, actually, for the surly candidates of the future. Lay out lots of fringe ideas to rile the proverbial base, and reach for targets they understand. It worked for Trump for months. And, while we etch his tombstone, his unhinged attack on a chocolate cookie is the perfect symbol of his campaign. In late summer, the Donald started squawking about how Nabisco was moving its Oreo facilities to Mexico, eliminating some 1,200 U.S. jobs. It caused a media stir at the time — as just about everything he said did — and many of his acolytes decided, as he had, that they’d never dunk “Milk’s Favorite Cookie” again.

“Nabisco, they make Oreos. They’re moving to Mexico. I’m never eating another Oreo again. I am telling you. Never,” Trump said. There are, of course, a myriad of problems with that statement to “Make Oreos Great Again.” First of all, Oreos are made by Mondelez International for Nabisco. They already had a plant in Mexico and invested $130 million in improvements for its Oreo production. The Chicago plant that Trump cited as losing 1,200 jobs is only downsizing 600 — and it will remain open. Additionally, Oreos will continue to be made in New Jersey, Virginia, and Oregon. According to FactCheck.org, Oreos are made in 18 countries; Mondelez employs 104,000 people worldwide with about 13,000 of them in the States. Like his campaign, in general, Trump’s claims were vapid and poorly researched.

The inaccuracies haven’t deterred Trump’s acolytes. Hasn’t before, so why start now?

But the best part of the whole charade, for me, was the discovery that, surprise of surprises, Trump shilled for Oreo in 2009.

That year, Oreos were still being produced by Kraft Foods — which spun off into Mondelez in 2012. You’d better believe they were manufactured globally then, but Trump didn’t seem all that concerned as he lined his pockets with advertising dollars. What a hypocrite, what a fraud. Go away, forever.

Hey, guess what? Oreos taste great with champagne. 

Related Tags