The Best Mattress on the Internet That No One Knows About

Forget the big fancy startup brands: this is the perfect online mattress.

Unsplash / Christopher Jolly

Apart from porn and Russian websites that advertise downloads of movies currently in theaters, mattress companies and reviews make up the vast majority of internet sites. Every week there’s a new specialty bedding company promising to have solved sleep forever. A new 100-day trial. A new gel foam vacuum-tested bedbug proof whatever mattress that can also do your homework and save your marriage. The review websites aren’t much better, since all of them are more than likely paid off by various mattress companies to elevate certain ones and denigrate others. It’s a whole thing.

Anyway, I can’t do that because I am of the highest moral standing, by which here mean no mattress company thinks I am worth bribing. Instead, I have to base my recommendations on things that are actually good. And this big, cheap mattress you can buy on Amazon is actually good.

The LUCID mattress has both springs and a memory foam layer, which means you won’t sink into it like a gym mat made of quicksand, but also won’t fall victim to “mattress lumps” several years into your ownership of said mattress. The best of both worlds. Not only that, it’s designed to be breathable and hypoallergenic, and it arrives at your door in less than two days at about half the price of most premium startup mattress companies.

Simply put: Mattresses can only offer you so much, and anything promising the perfect night’s sleep is baking on the fact you already sleep pretty damn well. The LUCID mattress is comfy, it’s pretty bouncy, and the friends I know who own it personally describe it as “good,” “great,” and “real good” respectively. Those are three mattress reviews that aren’t complete fabrications, a first in internet history.

A Queen-Size LUCID mattress runs just 429.99 on Also, if you’re a full mattress kind of person, maybe consider this a sign from god its time for a bigger bed. You’re not in college anymore, and your dates with thank you.