People Are Confused and Delighted by This Viral Fake Olive Garden Commercial Script

Comedian Keaton Patti has forced his bot to watch a lot of content and write a lot of scripts. From Fox News segments to Saw movies, several of his tweets with the fake script format have pulled in impressive numbers of likes and retweets. But his fake Olive Garden commercial has really gone viral, inspiring people to enact it live and cast doubt on his bot’s existence.

I thought the Olive Garden script was really funny, whether it was written by a bot or not. I hungered for the pasta nachos. I, too, saw the unlimited stick. Inverse reached out Keaton for more details and confirmed the bot is indeed real — and, what’s more, will definitely continue its script work.

“Scripts are its favorite thing!” he told Inverse by email, adding “;-).” I pondered the wink, questioning my own source’s reliability in the face of compelling naysayers.

One such naysayer, a self-described research scientist, put together a whole thread of reasons why a bot couldn’t have written such an ingenious, dark-humored faux commercial.

While Janelle makes some interesting points, I also want to believe Keaton. I asked him if his bot has a name — it doesn’t. But does it have hopes and dreams? Yes! To share its scripts with the world. And I’m rooting for its improbable existence. Olive Garden’s official Twitter account even seems to like the bot — or Keaton, one of the two.

Real talk: Olive Garden food tastes so good, and there’s nothing better than watching your server churn out never-ending parmesan cheese. But why, I asked Keaton, did he choose the favored restaurant of retirees everywhere? Why not, say, Chili’s?

“Olive Garden just made sense. I tried Chili’s, and what the bot wrote…well, I just don’t think it should ever be unleashed upon the public,” Keaton said. He also said that, aside from the tweet, Olive Garden hasn’t reached out — which is unfortunate because who wouldn’t want to see some trained actors eat lasagna wings with extra Italy during a commercial break.

Keaton’s coy responses, along with the scientific reasoning provided by Janelle, have led me to strongly believe there is no bot. And honestly, that’s a compliment, because the script is so funny it deserves to be credited to its real author. Who knows, maybe there is a bot capable of writing hilarious commentary on chain restaurants. But Keaton isn’t providing any additional evidence, for now.

There was one last thing on my mind: Friend 4, whose mouth, according to the bot’s script, was full of secret soup. I asked Keaton what flavor the soup was.

“Secret flavored,” he said.