Today, a chain restaurant I used to tolerate did something very foolish, and it upset a lot of people greatly. I don’t think I need to say much more. This is about IHOb.

It all started a few days ago (I think — I’ve lost track of time in the mindless void of self-preservation) when the restaurant formerly known as IHOP announced it was changing its name to IHOb, and we all had to guess what that meant. For the record, I did not guess “breakfast” like the rest of you plebs. I didn’t guess at all, because I knew this was a sly, capitalistic trick to get Twitter’s attention. And you know what? I was right!

Anyways, the ‘b’ stands for burgers, and it’s really fucking unnecessary.

The response was instant outrage, especially since IHOP wasn’t even that good at pancakes in the first place.

And yet, IHOP’s social media still tried to interact with people, as if that wouldn’t end badly.

Oh, Dan. We could only have hoped.

Couldn’t we have left it alone after that? Did we really have to continue, IHOb? If that even is your real name?

If you thought THAT was too much for Monday, a bunch of OTHER corporate brand managers decided this was the perfect opportunity to toss their name into the iHAT.

I mean, why would you even ask? Are you ready to face your monster, Dr. Frankenstein?

That was only the first of Miss Wendy’s complaints.

How I feel, summarized.

If I could amend this tweet, I’d like to add that the only reason I’m having the mental breakdown in the first place is because of IHOb.

Nathan Zed is a goddamn meme machine.

Alright, I know y’all love memes, so I brought you more memes. Memes of memes. Memes to the power of meme. Memes aplenty.

You’re… you’re still here? I mean, if you’re driving, I’ll go to IHOb.