Based on pure numbers, it’s probably safe to say everybody in the world has seen Jurassic World at least two times by now, which means they were able to come to their senses after the first time around. It may still be making zillions of dollars, but that doesn’t mean it’s any good. Here are a handful of parody videos better than the movie itself.
Despite the fact that this parody mainly addresses the worst plot hole in the original movie (if only the mad geniuses at Jurassic Park had installed round door knobs then none of the potential raptor carnage or terrible sequels would have ever happened), it’s still a near-perfect minute-long commentary on Jurassic World’s laughable tendency to subsist on every possible story beat from the original. Plus the double dino-neck high-five at the end of the video is a more inventive ending than anything Jurassic World managed to scrounge up.
It’s about damn time the iconic Jurassic theme song got lyrics to go along with it. These ones are a little rough around the edges and could use a good studio polish, but that’s beside the point. Get Justin Bieber and Skrillex to team up again on the remix and the pop version could have some serious potential on the Billboard charts.
Vicious, genetically-modified pooches would send a chill down the spine of just about any cat lover, but other than that it’s safe to say people would totally pay top dollar to visit a dog park to get a gander at gigantic possibly prehistoric versions of man’s best friend. Seriously, geneticists need to rethink their strategy and put all resources into a Dino Dog Park.
What’s more improbable than Chris Pratt suddenly becoming a dashing and highly lucrative on-screen leading man and starring as a badass dino scientist in this summer’s most popular movie? How about his doofy Parks and Recreation character, Andy Dwyer, getting the gig instead? This would be the greatest thing to happen to Pawnee, Indiana ever.
We’re fairly certain this is the exact movie people tripping balls saw when they went to see Jurassic World, and it’s way better than what the rest of us viewed going in without any sort of psychedelics to make it watchable. The sequel better have raptors actually riding the motorcycles with Chris Pratt instead of just running beside them or else we’re protesting.
The fake mustache, the hairclip, the nose-picking, the rubber chicken — give the billions of dollars in box office grosses to this woman. This DIY parody probably cost next to nothing and has more clever ideas in two and a half minutes than Jurassic World does in its seemingly three-hour runtime. The filmmakers need to track this woman down and get her for the sequel.