Culture

Patently Absurd: The Corn on the Cob Solution

In da gadda da corn holder.

USPTO/Daughtery

Eating a sweet ear of buttered corn is not a particularly tricky endeavor, but men have mustered just about as much technology as possible to make the process faster and less disgusting to watch. There are 22 patents on file with the U.S. Patent Office for devices to facilitate the human consumption of corn on the cob. Use that factoid to impress fellow citizens this Fourth of July.

If there is a limit to corn technology, James Daugherty Jr. has not met it. He is the Xzibit of BBQ, because his creation is a corn holder for your corn holder. Meet the CORNCOB HOLDER FIELD:

The corncob holders resemble mini ears of corn and each include a pair of pins used to pierce each end of an ear of corn in order to hold said ear when consuming. The pins of the corncob holders are inserted into pin holes located on the cornstalks so as to provide a means of storage when not in use. Each cornstalk located on the device can store a pair of corncob holders, and when storing said corncob holders shall resemble a cornstalk in which ears of corn are sprouting there from.

This is less a solution looking for a problem than a solution looking for a work of art. Daugherty Jr. has left Martha Stewart weeping, for there are no more corn-shaped centerpieces to conquer.

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