Nintendo shook the video game world when it oh so casually confirmed that Super Smash Bros. is coming to the Nintendo Switch this year. However, the trailer, which premiered at the end of a “Nintendo Direct” presentation, only confirmed one new character — the Inklings from the Splatoon game.
Sure, you might say. We just learned about the game the other day, and there’s plenty of time for additional characters to be announced. That might be true, but here’s another truth:
If Waluigi isn’t a playable character in this game, we should riot.
Waluigi, a nasty fellow from the Super Mario franchise, first made his debut in the 2000 Nintendo 64 game Mario Tennis. His sole reason for existing was to give Wario — the evil version of Mario — a doubles partner. An evil Luigi, if you will, making Waluigi a copy of a copy, an empty mustache whose entire sense of self derives from what he’s not. His name is actually a pretty good play on words in the original Japanese, since “Warui” means “bad,” but the English translation strips him of that portmanteau. He’s just Luigi, but “Wa.” It’s real dumb.
Despite (or perhaps, because) of Waluigi’s shallow origin, the character quickly became a fan-favorite. He’s been a mainstay of Mario’s party and sport games, like Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Mario Golf, and he’s appeared as a non-player character in Super Smash Bros. before.
But now, in these dark times, the time is ripe for Waluigi to take what is his. A generation of irony-poisoned fans want to play as the bad purple dude. Just look at him:
Nintendo hasn’t made it clear, as of Friday morning, if the Switch version of Super Smash Bros. is a proper fifth game in the series or just a deluxe edition of 2014’s Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U and Nintendo 3DS. In either case, they’re clearly not above adding new characters, as evidenced by the Inkling’s inclusion in the announcement trailer. Nintendo, as a company, has become a lot more savvy when it comes to internet culture in the past few years. They leaned into popular conceptions and memes about Luigi for the (partially) tongue-in-cheek “Year of Luigi” in 2013. Surely, somebody at Nintendo noticed that Waluigi has a bizarre internet fandom of his own.
If Nintendo deprives us, the people, of the chance to live our truths and fight as Waluigi, there’s simply nothing left to do but let it all burn.
Also, if I’m being honest, I’m a little salty that Nintendo didn’t reveal any more details about that Fire Emblem game they’ve got coming for Switch that they mentioned ages ago. Still, Super Smash Bros. is extremely good, but it would be even better if Waluigi finally gets a chance to shine. Come on, Nintendo, make our dreams come true.