Science

# On Average, Fox News Viewers Are 68. How Long Before Their Average Is Dead?

Calculating the point at which an aging audience is half-empty.

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About half of Fox News’ viewers will be dead at the end of the next decade. So says math. It must be true.

The network’s year-end ratings report last year found the median age of Fox News viewers was a Clintonesque 68 years old. We wondered: How long until half of those viewers have slipped off this mortal coil?

If we accept that the gender diversity of a network’s guests, hosts, and pundits reflects its viewership, then we could say that 65 percent of Fox News viewers are male, while only 35 percent are female. By the same token, nearly all of Fox’s viewers are white, and there are a whole lot of them.

On-screen, Fox News is whiter than seagull shit, and the viewers follow suit: about 83 percent of them are white. If we take all that data and look forward to the future, we predict we’ll have a mercifully low couple number of years to deal with the ascension of Fox News force-feeding bombshell blondes to baby boomers.

We’ll use the Social Security Administration’s data for life expectancy of people who already reach at least 65-years-old (a number conveniently close to Fox News’ median viewership). Males can expect to live an estimated 84 years, while females can expect to live an estimated 86 years. If we get our calculators out, that means that the rich white males that are constantly tuning in to Fox News will be dead, on average, by 2031. Mark your calendars now.

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