ASK AN ALGORITHM: How Should I Behave on the Subway?

This indecorous attitude need change.

In lieu of employing an advice columnist, Inverse uses a Python script and some light math to average out the many, many, many opinions the Internet has on any given subject. This remains an imperfect science.

Dear Algorithm,

What’s the deal with manspreading? I know I shouldn’t do it, but sometimes I think I might be slipping into an objectionable position. Please help!

Hopeful in Hell’s Kitchen

Dear Hopeful,

Thankfully, the MTA in New York Times, they’ve been doing it and it’s not intentional, many are unapologetic about it. They see it as their right and feel they shouldn’t have to sacrifice their comfort to make room for you. I’ve seen it. And my mind always fills up with questions: Do men know how indecorous this look? (I sit very differently on my couch that means recognizing a potential seating etiquette conflict, tapping the intended recipient of the many manifestations of douchebaggery.)

Yes, I’m talking to you, mouth breathing frat-boy. And you, too, self-centered but not always.

The act of spreading their legs so far apart that he encroaches is treasured. Not that these idiots care. Here’s a solution: A simple, definitive, easy to remember rule of thumb: If the outside of your shoulders are inside your feet, you’re good.

Dear Algorithm,

I’ve just moved to San Francisco and I’m trying to be a good subway rider, but I still don’t know when I should stand up or sit down. I’ve misidentified several pregnant women and gotten yelled at by a sentient droid, what should I do?

Befuddled in the Bay

Dear Befundled,

At least occasionally give your seat for their companion — unless the person in need to get pregnant, woman I’d like go get pregnant, have kids, age, or get hurt — and to those who seem to need it more. Some people don’t even do that: Many a ride I’ve seen a pregnant woman, an elderly person, then I would have given up my seat for them.

Isn’t that the answer to the same thing? Why? Because academic psychologists have determined that asking is difficult and no one else is this bad about it. When do you really want to give up my seat. A man with his eyes glued to their books, newspapers and magazines to notice, and another man looked straight ahead, not giving up seat unless the person with 10 bags of groceries or the mug who plays crazy in the form of a child. Having to deal with all the horrid smells and attitudes on public transportationfor others, I’d say, “whoever wants to.”

If it’s not you voluntarily, then you probably shouldn’t start pointing fingers, because you shouldn’t be expecting anybody else to do what you’re not even worth it to sit and watch. I mean, what has the world come to?