Finally, there’s a service for all the people out there who want a Muppet to castigate on one of their friends. Abusive Elmo On Demand is a lovely bit of copyright infringement that allows you to politely ask America’s favorite piece of red lint to impolitely offer your friends some feedback.
“I've been living with Elmo for several months now and have had to put up with his anger issues and physical abuse on a regular basis,” the Australia-based service's website manager explains. “I've reached a breaking point and decided that Elmo needs to release his anger in a more therapeutic way, which is why I've set up this service.” Input the phone number of the person you want Elmo to call, and the little red Sesame Street resident will leave a nasty message.
I input my own number hoping to hear Elmo tell me I’m a complete loser or something worse, but hadn’t received a call back when this article went to press (or whatever). Luckily the site lets you listen to an example call. “I’ve been talking to your friend all day about your constant bitching and whining,” said Elmo in his signature high-pitched voice, “And I just wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself.” He then chuckled and told his victim to “have a good day.”
The Jim Henson Company, distracted as it may be by the new Muppet show on ABC, is going to shut this thing down fast so enjoy it while you can. The Internet giveth and the legal system taketh away.