It seems Drake is still suffering the repercussions of his 2015 beef with rapper/former friend, Meek Mill. During his most recent concert in New York City, the artist came at notable DJ, Funkmaster Flex, and his radio station, HOT 97.
Funk Flex responded to Drake with a 24 minute diatribe telling multiple stories of how Drake can never claim to be in the Top 5 rapper discussion because some of his most popular tracks were ghostwritten. Furthermore, he believes Drake tries to claim a lifestyle that’s not his own, and 70 percent of his fans “wear high heels. The other 30 percent are guys who wear sandals.”
Funk Flex makes a good case, though. Drake is a great artist and multiple artists have used ghostwriters, but lying to the public about it is a no-no and should disqualify any rapper from the Top 5 discussion. Furthermore, trying to get another man fired is a low blow. Funk Flex has his faults, and his insatiable thirst for bomb drops needs to be quenched, but he does not deserve to be fired — he’s been a voice in New York for far too long.
However, all this back and forth between the two needs to be solved. Drake is no hardcore gangster, and Funk Flex is a radio personality, so the two are not the type to take it to the extreme. The best way to solve this dispute is for them to duke it out… in one of the most popular video games of the early 2000’s, Def Jam: Vendetta.
The Def Jam series combined wrestling with some of our favorite rap artists and hip-hop personalities including Method Man, Snoop Dogg, Ghostface Killah, and Funk Flex. We got to stomp, suplex, and power bomb different artists while hip-hop beats played in the background.
When we went into “Blazin” mode, we would finish our opponent with a miraculous finisher which would arguably kill the average human being. This game was one of the best rap and video game collaborations since Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style.
Funk Flex is already featured in the game, so we have a good idea of what his abilities are. He’s a power fighter with strong defense and excellent grappling moves. His finishing moves include both a tombstone pile driver from hell and power bomb where he tosses his opponent instead of slamming them. He is a strong wrestler, and if Drake was still the skinny weakling he was when the came in the game, it would be an easy win for Funk Flex.
Because the last Def Jam was released in 2007, and Drake did not become big until after that time, he’s sadly not featured in the game. But we can infer! Drake would probably not be the grappling type, instead choosing to slowly wear down his opponent through submission holds and strong slaps. His finishing move would most likely include a strong hug followed by a series of taunts that slowly kills his opponent’s self-esteem.
If Drake and Funk Flex were to battle in Def Jam: Vendetta, Funk Flex would likely come out the victor. Although Drake has a large amount of charisma and comebacks, Funk Flex’s defense and experience is too big to be ignored. It would be a battle of the ages, but Drake is still too weak to handle Flex in the ring. If he’s lucky, Quentin Miller can step in and deal out some damage for him.
Photos via Getty Images / Paras Griffin