We Asked Project Murphy What-If Questions About Donald Trump

We thought Trump could use some artificial intelligence.


Microsoft’s trying to make headway in the chatbot market, and, while the company is at it, recuperate some public favor. Project Murphy, the company’s latest effort, is meant to answer your “What if” questions in pictorial form. And the one on everyone’s mind is a bleak, foreboding question: What if Donald Trump were elected president?

Since he seems to have clinched the nomination, this once laughable query now merits consideration. No matter what Trump does, he gains momentum. No matter what people say about Trump, he gains momentum. The best we can do, then, is ponder what happens if nothing derails this runaway train.

Project Murphy could help. It seems at least within the realm of possibility that one of its responses may offer insight. At the very least, it can provide some comic relief. (Trump is no stranger to coders’ thwarting keystrokes).

The artificial intelligence is no master of metaphor, but is good at physical connections. So, for instance, if you ask it “What if Donald Trump were evil incarnate?” then chances are it’ll shoot you back something incoherent. Each time someone uses the bot, though, it better learns how to respond. (Not unlike the Trump-inspired A.I. Twitter bot, @DeepDrumpf.) From the creators:

“Murphy is brand new and still learning so it sometimes doesn’t have an answer right away, but the more people interact with it, the more creative it will become, gradually improving the results.”

Sometimes, faced with no other options, we must stoop to the opposition’s level. Project Murphy acknowledges this fact.

On direct, literal questions, like “What if Donald Trump had extremely large hands?” Murph’ does do alright.

You can also use Project Murphy to daydream:

It’s possible to trick Project Murphy into exhibiting wisdom:

When you ask it scary — but plausible — questions, you get scary results:

Asking the actual question, though, yields something far scarier.

And even Project Murphy knows that Trump would just be masquerading as Commander in Chief, nothing more:

Hey Murph’ — let’s see what else you got for that one, shall we?

Nice. That’s better. Luckily for us, Donald Trump is not a politician. Or is he?

Egads. This is not really relevant, but may cheer you up after those abominations:

Okay, okay. Back on track. So, let’s imagine that he is indeed elected, and all rational people forever lose faith in humanity we have to face that reality. What would that look like?

Oh, shit. Not cool. That thing does not have a place in our country. Especially if we’re trying to make our country great again.™ What should we do with it?

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