The iPhone is a luxury smartphone, but flip phones are vintage wines: they get better with age, and their value increases with scarcity.
Of course, this is not to say that flip phones literally improve as they get older. They break easily, and they don’t do much other than text, make calls, and let you play games like Snake. Don’t you miss Snake? The beauty of flip phones — or the thing that only gets better as time passes — is their simplicity.
It’s not nostalgia that makes the flip-phone the best kind to flash at functions. Rihanna, Anna Wintour, Scarlett Johansson, Kate Beckinsale, and Warren Buffett are all proud flip-phone users. After suffering a security breach while using a smartphone, Johansson decided to keep it simple. One can imagine that Rihanna, Wintour and Beckinsale have similar reasons to enjoy the privacy that a simple cell phone allows. No one can see Rih’s screen in the club, or while she’s leaving the airport, when it she can flip it shut on command. On “Work,” she sings “nobody text me in a crisis,” which can go both ways: when she’s in a crisis, no one hits her up, or when someone else has a crisis, they can’t hit her line. A possible explanation? Her flip-phone won’t put up with the nonsense.
The lack of features is a selling point, too. No Snapchat screenshots. No surprise FaceTime, no read receipts. Even Kim Kardashian and Barack Obama are often Blackberry-exclusive, and Kardashian even buys the phones in bulk on eBay because she fears an imminent discontinuation. The Blackberry is the open-face sandwich of flip phones.
Motorola Razrs are undoubtedly your best bet for the comfort a flip-phone provides. They come equipped with that satisfying snap, the sleek exterior, flat-yet-clickable keys, and, of course, the essential function of t9 word that makes drunk texting an adventure. They’re lightweight and durable; you can drop a Razr off a balcony and the only issue will be a cracked front screen — and who needs it anyway?
If someone were trying to sell the flip phone, they might go with something like “no data, no Internet, no problems” Or, perhaps something like, “good enough for Rihanna, good enough for all of us.” But this isn’t a sales pitch, it’s an explanation of the allure that reaches beyond the scope of early 2000s revival. Flip phones are a vacation from superfluous connections. Much like the little black dress, they’re a both style staple and functional necessities. Flip phones are forever.