This Is How Bart Dies on 'The Simpsons'

Ay, carumba. 

Sideshow Bob finally did it. In tonight’s annual “Treehouse of Horror” episode of The Simpsons, Krusty the Clown’s old sidekick got to seek revenge on his old young nemesis, Bart, again… and again… and again…

As in all The Simpsons’ “Treehouse of Horror” episodes, there are a few bizarre, alternate universe segments that pit our favorite characters against the weird, the horrific, and even the 3D. This year — “Treehouse of Horror XXVI” to be exact — was no different, with the show divided into “Wanted: Dead, Then Alive,” “Homerzilla,” and “Telepaths Of Glory.” And as if to get the dirty business out of the way, “Wanted: Dead, Then Alive” came first and Bob went to town on Bart.

So, how does Sideshow Bob do it? Oh, let us count the ways.

(And if you still needed a Spoiler Alert! — here it is, go no further if you don’t want to hear about Bart’s gruesome deaths. Yes, deaths.)

Bob lures Bart into Springfield Elementary with a convoluted text from Milhouse directing the 10-year-old to go to the music room, where Sideshow Bob pegs Bart with a spear gun straight through the heart. And then he fashions backpack straps out of Bart’s insides. And then he drinks Bart’s blood. And he crams a bunch of golf balls into the kid’s mouth.

But that’s not all!

Sideshow Bob keeps Bart’s body around, chatting with it, casually changing his Facebook status from “attempted murderer” to “murderer,” and realizing that without his arch nemesis skateboarding around — life’s just lost that verve. So Bob, being the Yale-educated genius he is, devises a Frankenstein-like reanimation machine to bring poor Bart back to life a bunch of times only to relive his revenge over and over again.

After years of hating the kid for sending him to jail (all the way back in season one during “Krusty Gets Busted” in 1990), Sideshow Bob gets to act out all his Itchy and Scratchy-esque fantasies on Bart.

Sideshow Bob bludgeons Bart with a hammer (not once, but twice, just because!), shoots off his head, and then subjects the kid to death by electric bill, liquefying, and axe. Oh, and then there was the time Bob squashed Bart with a steamroller, folded him into a paper plane, jettisoned him into the air towards a fan where paper-thin Bart was shredded, and subsequently burned by a sufficiently deranged Bob.

Clearly, overkill is not in this Springfield University professor’s vocabulary.

Related Tags