10.26.2019 7:00 AM

Culture

6 Excellent Halloween Costumes for Dudes With 2-Day Amazon Delivery

It's not too late to be the scariest at the ball because these costumes will arrive in time

Unsplash / Ján Jakub Naništa

Are you ready for Halloween? Got your costume and candy?

No. Of course you don’t. This is the age of the internet. You can wait till almost the last minute, order online, and still have a great costume.

It’s time, though. The day rapidly approaches. If your procrastination is born of a lack of inspiration, we did the work for you.

Here are six awesome costumes that will make you the scariest at the ball. And they will arrive in a couple of days so no one will know you can’t plan ahead.

Stick Figure Jumpsuit

Men's Stick Figure Costume - Halloween Stick Man Costume JumpsuitAmaxon

This is you imitating life imitating art. A human dressed as a stick figure? Awesome. It’s like the world according to people who can’t draw.

This costume has everything you are looking for, in fact: It’s comfortable, requires no face makeup, is easy to get on, removes easily, and will make people laugh.

Bonus points for not associating you with any particular fandom that you might regret by next year.

Plush Kangaroo One Piece Animal Costume

Plush Kangaroo One Piece Animal CostumeAmazon

Show your warm and fuzzy side with this marsupial suit, complete with baby kangaroo. This is the costume that will have everyone cuddling and petting you, not running screaming. So that’s sort of an improvement for your night, right?

You can hand the baby kanga to any recalcitrant children you find along your way, you’ll be warm and comfy, and you won’t have to change at the end of the night because this suit doubles as pajamas.

TOLOCO Inflatable Adults Sumo Wrestler Wrestling Suit

Inflatable Adults Sumo Wrestler Wrestling SuitsAmazon

Wearing something sexy for Halloween is so five minutes ago. This Sumo Wrestler though! Inflate it, wear it, bounce off of things all night. You will need two seats if you ride in anyone’s car and no one will tell you that you’ve lost weight. But you will be hilarious and noticeable.

Allow time for inflation.

Famajia Men’s Prisoner Jumpsuit Halloween Adult Costume

Famajia Men's Prisoner Jumpsuit Halloween Adult CostumeAmazon

An orange jumpsuit! Because orange is the new black. And you love that show, right? This costume is affordable, easy to wear, and you can bring it out again next year and wear it any season finale or showverdosing parties you attend throughout the year.

Honestly, you will probably bring this one out for more private events between now and next Halloween. You know, to get your money’s worth out of it. Wink wink.

Morphsuits Arachnomania

Morphsuits ArachnomaniaAmazon

This Arachnomania morphsuit has two prerequisites:

  1. Be happy with your own body because this thing is form fitting.
  2. Be willing to terrify children and spend the night creeping everyone out.

This lycra bodysuit will make you look like a rotting corpse full of spiders. If you are willing to spend the night saying, “Hey! Don’t run away!” fruitlessly, this is your costume!

It’s comfortable and inexpensive, too!

Adult Abraham Lincoln Costume

Abraham Lincoln CostumeAmazon

No one saw that coming, right? You dressed as Abraham Lincoln? But why not? That’s a great hat.

Everything political is scary right now, though, so you might frighten people.

This costumes doubles as a Frederick Douglass costume. Just switch up the head gear so this is a twofer. You can use it for two different Halloween parties without repeating. Or mothball it till next year and save some of your future money.

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