Hexagonal Airplane Seats Will Steal the Last Shred of Your Humanity

Back when The Onion had a print edition, some airline exec clearly left a copy in a bathroom stall for a dim CEO to find. Now we all suffer. Industry supplier Zodiac Seats France just patented a hexagonal seat configuration that could cost the huddled wretches of economy what little autonomy they have.

Wired reports on the honeycomb design, noting fairly that it does give you a bit more shoulder room since you’re no longer facing in the same direction as your traveling companion. Instead, you’re basically face-to-face, which is cool if you’re with that group but, otherwise, is going to make our unspoken mutual agreements to ignore one another even more uncomfortable.

Airplane seating is a battlefield, one we can only hope these seats die on beneath the bayonets of worthy competitors. There’s Singapore’s AirGo, which promises seats based on 3D scans of the human body that will be both comfortable and designed to keep from interfering with your neighbor’s rest. Then there’s Acro, designing slim seats that are at least hopefully able to make the most of your room, with fold-in tables taking the space once designated for armrests.

Pilots remain complimentary. For now.