Where the Hell Is the American Hogwarts?

Cue the internet explosion: Hogwarts is in the US. But where? 

JK Rowling has confirmed the existence of a Hogwarts-like school in America. Once the dust from a million tweets settles, the more practical question remains: where would an American wizarding school be?

Rowling has stated that the school's origins are affiliated with Native American tribes and it isn't in New York, where the forthcoming Fantastic Beasts And Where to Find Them, starring Eddie Redmayne, is set.  

She has refused to divulge anything further. But some sleuthing can help us figure it out: 

1. Area 51.  Many Native American tribes are in the Southwest. What place is also in the Southwest — a place that has been confounding Muggles for years? Area 51. Wizarding enchantments would explain the mysterious sights and happenings consistently reported.

2. Dudleytown.  The East Coast is also home to many Native American tribes, and though Rowling said the school isn’t in New York, she didn’t say anything about Connecticut. This ghost town has been cloaked in mystery for years. Said to invoke “overwhelming feelings of terror” among visitors, the region has been considered a cursed place that marks the divide between our world and the ghost world. Maybe it’s really the Wizarding world.

3. The Grand Canyon. We don’t know for sure that the American wizarding school is a castle, since they aren’t as prevalent here as they are in the U.K. But it would have to be in a large facility that can be camouflaged. What better way to hide it than in plain sight? 

4. Baltimore, Indiana. Never heard of this Baltimore? That's because it doesn't exist. Baltimore is a ghost town that died out when the Wabash and Erie canal drew its citizens away. According to the most reliable source on the Internet, "with the exception of a single brick house built in the 1880's, nothing remains of it." Single brick house… or Wizarding school in disguise?

5. The Pentagon. Despite what depictions in pop culture might have you think, that place is a fortress full of secrets. Who knows what dwells beneath its oddly shaped walls?