These Total Eclipse Doomsday Theories Are Garbage

We're not going to die just because the sun goes out for a few minutes.

The world is getting extraordinarily hyped for Monday’s total solar eclipse extravaganza, but the downside of the world gathering around for this event also means that a lot of awful theories and false claims are coming out the woodwork.

To some extent, that’s not entirely surprising. Humanity has long had a penchant for screaming doom and gloom when the sun goes dark abruptly. But it’s 2017 — we shouldn’t still be indulging in stories of eclipse-driven doom.

So here are three different strange doomsday eclipse theories, and why they’re total trash.

Will The Eclipse Compromise My Pregnancy?

Hell no, your baby is safe. There is no reason to think a few minutes without the sun in the middle of the day could harm your baby, as opposed to what you might hear from some outlets. The eclipse cannot do any harm to your baby — the temporary suspension of sunlight basically has the same effect as if you hung out in a dark room during the day. You’re going to be fine, and so is your baby. Pregnant women around the world shouldn’t experience any problems as a consequence of the eclipse.

The Lizard Men Cometh

Some people think lizard men are real. And a smaller segment believe the lizard men will come out of the darkness and wreak havoc on the people of Earth when the lights go out for a bit on Monday.

That’s not happening. Lizard men aren’t real. I don’t have any scientific evidence to explain why other than the fact that evolution has not made lizard men into a thing. At least not yet.

(Lizard men did, however, inspire a rather bizarre but fun episode of Justice League back in the day, but that’s a different story.)

A Planet Will Collide with Earth

This last theory never goes away — it manages to rear its ugly head during any strange astrophysical event. See, there’s this idea that some planet called Nibiru will one day slam into Earth and kill us all. There’s no reason to think this will happen beyond just alarmism picked out of thin air — meaning, there’s no scientific evidence to suggest we should be worried about some free-moving planet setting course for Earth.

Yet, that hasn’t stopped some people from electing to believe Nibiru will make its annihilatory rendezvous with Earth on Monday, when the eclipse occurs.

It’s not happening. We’ll be fine.

See Also: Colanders and Welding Masks? DIY Ways to View the Total Solar Eclipse

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