Then the Lord spake unto Dallas saying, “Consider My mercy as I spare thee from the floods of My righteous judgement one more day.” And, lo, the weakened structure of the Padera Lake damn did hold the waters from the dwellings of the wicked, and the AT&T Stadium.

Engineers confirmed to The Houston Chronicle that the dam seems to be holding and should continue to do so, despite earlier fears that the structure would collapse in the wake of massive floods. Area residence and livestock were evacuated after one prediction warned that the dam would collapse by Wednesday morning.

Why did the Almighty spare the pitiful North Texas metropolis? Perhaps it was the cocktails at the Black Swan Saloon on Elm Street, or he wants to see if Jason Garrett can get the Cowboys back to a Superbowl championship. What mortal can say? But for now, city engineers are building a relief channel to drain out some water in the precious few hours they've been given.