The A.I. apocalypse is becoming a bigger threat with every passing day. Don’t let innocent video game victories and the artwork fool you — these programs are becoming increasingly cunning, and they’re coming up with clever ways to trick us into letting our guard down. The latest ploy: giving guinea pigs names reminiscent of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, with all the cuteness and absurdity mashed up into one.

The Portland Guinea Pig Rescue, which is a real organization, had a bunch of nameless guinea pigs, so they reached out to scientist Janelle Shane to see if she could construct a neural network to invent new names quickly. Guinea pigs, after all, breed fairly quickly, and the PGPR often times is inundated with many animals rescued at once.

Not content with a simple generator of classic names like “Snickers,” Shane decided to build something which would train itself to create names that were novel and memorable. The neural network began developing its own rules for names as it created more and more, trying to strike a balance in creativity and propriety.

The result? A cornucopia of names which run from conventional to weird-as-hell to just downright nonsense:

  • Popchop
  • Fuzzable
  • Puck
  • Moth
  • Copperhead
  • [Gus]
  • Buzzberry
  • Stargoon
  • After Pie
  • Dab
  • Pugger P
  • Snifket
  • Hanger Dan
  • Rocklass
  • Fabsy
  • Madly Mean
  • Fusty
  • Butty Briomy
  • Moonyhen
  • Boooy
  • Bho8otteeddeeceul

I can very easily see Master Shake and Meatwad sitting in their living room with Carl and coming up with these names.

And as anyone who’s ever seen Aqua Teen or any Adult Swim show knows, havoc often comes out of stupid chaos. Don’t let this new guinea pig-naming A.I. fool you into thinking we have nothing to fear from the machines.

Photos via Flickr / Randy Auschrat