If you happened to find yourself binge-watching The OA this week, you certainly weren’t alone. Netflix’s new twisty, turn-y, mystery-shrouded thriller was packed full of so many questions that it was impossible to not consume the next episode like extra buttery movie theater popcorn.

Unfortunately, like most projects from Brit Marling, we didn’t get all the answers we wanted or needed. And frankly, even when we did get answers, we were left wondering what the hell those answers actually meant. So while we know Prairie’s nickname, The OA, might stand for Original Angel, we still have no idea who she is and how she fits into any of the multiple worlds. Here’s just a few guesses at what being an Original Angel might entail.

1. Being born before Jesus. Hahahaha take that Jesus, you’re stuck with all the shitty, little brother things, like taking care of humanity and forgiving their sins.

2. Teaching interpretive dance, but then being mad that your students are more talented than you. I’m just saying, the Five Movements have only worked once.

3. Transforming into the best David Boreanaz impersonator that twitter followers from Brazil and money can buy. Never let it be said there’s a vampire flashback wig out there that Prairie didn’t try.

4. Founding a biker gang (with obligatory OA leather jackets) that shields events from Westboro Baptist Church protests. They probably exist in all the other worlds, too, right?

5. Friending other angels on Facebook just to remind them they’re unoriginal and inferior. Oh, you want world peace? That’s cute, in which world exactly?

6. Finding a tumblr url that doesn’t have a fuckton of underscores or numbers after it. Because you just know some asshole is sitting on that url, but hasn’t posted anything.

7. Coming with certification of authenticity. If it’s done for art and jewelry, we’re gonna need one for angels, too.

8. Touching people and somehow getting a TV show out of it. (Not the Chris Hansen kind of touching, though.)

9. Running away from home. Literally every building with a roof, Prairie runs away from. The only place she seems to maybe want to stay in is the galaxy room (where we see Khatun) on the other side — but not even her dear papa was strong enough to get her to stay.

10. Fishing for kids in a space glow hole. I’m assuming that leveling up as angel means you become Khatun and actually help / protect people every once in a while, right?

11. Not answering people’s prayers. Actually come to think of it, for the Original Angel, Prairie never quite got to the part where she helped her real life friends move forward in the same way they were helping her. Bummer, feels like that should definitely be the first thing on her to do list.

Photos via WB, Tumblr, CBS, Netflix

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