Are you playing Attack On Titan? Were you concerned that you wouldn’t be able to display statues of massive, naked human-devouring giants? If the answer is yes, your ship has come in.

Based on the mega-hit anime of the same name, Titan is normally all about swinging flying over hundreds of meters of rooftops with steampunk grappling hooks to slash at the necks of these feral things, and then reveling in the kill as their blood streams all over the screen. But, thankfully, it doesn’t have to be.

When checking out the side missions available in the game’s Expedition mode the other night, I learned that you can buy, and more incongruously, display, 1:1 scale sculptures of your favorite Titans. Y’know, the dead-eyed, anatomically abnormal things who apparently live for nothing more than to eat humanity into oblivion. Those ones.

Sadly your Titan models can only stand there harmlessly. Maybe they can fix that in a future update.
Sadly your Titan models can only stand there harmlessly. Maybe they can fix that in a future update.

Getting your collection started is easy. Expeditions start out at a camp where your fellow NPC soldiers have garrisoned, among them is a Titan figure salesman, apparently. He’ll ask you if you’re interested in spending your hard-earned gold and precious crafting materials on the construction to this monument of bloody horror, which, duh, of course you are.

Yes, buying these trophies is more than accessing a model viewer – something the game won’t mention if you’re, say, playing Expedition for the first time in co-op rather than by yourself. I picked Large Titan #3, a great lusty hulk with gray hair, a slightly distended belly and a vacant stare, though you can enjoy the seeming pointlessness of the system with whichever Titan(s) you choose. And really, they all have their charms; it’s impossible to go wrong.

This might bring to mind the dumb fun of Resident Evils collectible capsule figurines, but those existed in a vacuum, not the game world itself. As anyone that’s had the fun of buying Japanese capsule toys (or their typically more depressing American counterparts, not that it matters when you’re a kid) knows, they can be enjoyable to collect; they’re there for you. But the Titans are there for the soldiers at camp.

Take fun selfies!
Take fun selfies!

It becomes apparent, though not immediately, with a second menu option: “set”. From the outside the only thing this visually does is stamp a large “E” next to whatever Titan model you’ve chosen. Then, after you set Large Titan 3 (or whoever) suddenly there it is, its massive silhouette towering over the tents – a full-scale sculpture of a totally bare, genitalia-less monster.

Of course, Titan’s military outfits frown on this sort of frivolous (and expensive) decoration but don’t let that stop you. Go ahead and take some capture some memories of yourself with your grinning monument to despair. Even better, invite some friends to join in the fun. They can set up their own Titans too, so they can meet each other’s vacuous gaze until either the end of time or when your Expedition session ends. Sadly, you can’t deck out your entire base with these huge totems of terror – the horses have to stable somewhere. But that’s what DLC is for, right?

Photos via Koei Tecmo

Steve Haske is a Seattle-based writer and sometimes a creator of stupid art. His work can be found on VICE and Playboy. Iain Glen is his Virgil.