Long before Linnaean taxonomy or Latin was invented, an Elasmotherium sibiricum breathed its last. The giant, one-horned creature fell to the ground, where a fragment of its skull would lie unmolested for some 29,000 years. Until a few Russian scientists figured out how old it was, which extends the Elasmotherium sibiricum timeline by hundreds of thousands of years.

But somehow we all decided that made unicorns real. To be the joy-sucking vampires we are: Humans didn’t invent the idea of “unicorns” long after Elasmotherium sibiricum went extinct.

You wouldn’t get that from these headlines, though:

10.)

Nope.

9.)

Nope!

8.)

Cursing won’t make it true.

7.)

Also….nope!

6.)

Only if we knew what magical powers it had.

5.)

Don’t get too amped at this wrong headline.

4.)

100 percent of statistics can be used in whatever way you want.

3.)

Like cursing, writing in ALL CAPS doesn’t make something true.

2.)

Nope!

1.)

Also, no.