Apartment Hunting Is a Nightmare | ASK AN ALGORITHM 

In lieu of employing an advice columnist, Inverse uses a Python script and some light math to average out the many, many, many opinions the Internet has on any given subject. This remains an imperfect science.

Dear Algorithm,

I’m currently looking for an apartment in a big city. I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal — I have a decent amount of friends-of-friends who are looking for roommates. However, I’m having a hard time finding something right. It seems I can’t have all three things: location, transportation, and a nice space. Am I being too picky?

— Nervous in New York

Dear Nervous,

So what do you do? There isn’t much you can decide if they meet your needs.

Hey there, hopeful apartments aren’t listed until four or five weeks. The thought of someone else having to go fuck himself. We’ll get to it. Fortunately, we’ve teamed up with leading experts in the middle of the day. But since we can offer is to walk around the neighborhood you want to move.

Fortunately, we’ve teamed up advice from people who got more for their building. Because they don’t have to share a commission with a few suggestions to make the process that requires a lot of documents and finances in order before you even see your first lease or putting in your budget in mind only to be shocked by the hidden costs. The one in New Girl.

Regards,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Algorithm

Dear Algorithm,

My longtime roommate is moving out and I don’t know anyone currently looking for a room. My friends say I should just Craigslist it, and I know that’s a totally normal thing that lots of people do. But I’m weird about strangers. Logically I know chances are very low the person will be a serial killer … but what if they’re a serial killer?

— Anxious in Arizona

Dear Anxious,

I will need to be ready to act fast. It’s essential that you have responsible and trustworthy roommates, and in many ways, securing an apartment search.

Much of the general public’s knowledge concerning serial homicide is a product of sensationalized and stereotypical depictions of it in the news and entertainment media. Colorful story lines are written to pique the interest of audiences, not to paint an accurate picture of serial murder.

If you watch enough Lifetime movies, you’ll probably never go to Craigslist in search of a roommates will be.

After weeks of social media stalking potential roommate. Once you watch enough Lifetime movies, you’ll all need to be ready to act fast. It’s essential roommate. Once you wade through a listing’s generic promises — oh, do you truly never bring the party home? — you start looking for red flags. Anyone who says they like to be friends with their roomie is most definitely a sociopath, no? The anxiety alone is enough to derail an apartment will be the true test of how trustworthy roommates, and in many ways, securing an apartment will be the true test of how trustworthy roommates ahead of time, and lock down every roommate.

On a scale of meh to BOOM, how loud is your sex life?

Confirm your roommate I met on Craigslist. My mom asked me if she seemed normal. I told her yes, but then realized I may have lied unintentionally. After all, I’m not totally sure what normal looks like in New York City.

Regards,

Your Friendly Neighborhood Algorithm