'Mario 64' meets 'GoldenEye' in this ludicrous new mod

Coup attempt, what coup attempt? We're too busy murking Koopas with a D44 Dostovei.

After the heart-wrenching news this week that the opening of Japan's Super Nintendo World has been delayed (again), we'll take any ray of (Super Mario) sunshine we can get right now. Although a decidedly much less family-friendly alternative, here's something to potentially tide us over until we can revel in the wonder of an entire theme park dedicated to that most beloved of tiny Italian plumbers: a surreal, emulator-based mod of the classic GoldenEye 64 that swaps out 007, Alec Trevelyan, and Oddjob for Mario, Luigi, Toad, and the whole gang.

Koopa Kill Count — While the original mod (appropriately titled GoldenEye With Mario Characters) debuted back in January 2018, creator StupidMarioBros1Fan decided to celebrate its third anniversary with a completely reworked final level set in Peach's Castle. Starting in classic GoldenEye style with the third-person aerial zoom-in towards Mario's perspective, the level manages to showcase much of what we love about both classic titles. Okay, so it's a bit disconcerting to see a revered childhood icon gunning down his enemies with various automatic weaponry, but c'mon. What we wouldn't give for a GoldenEye multiplayer between the polygonal Nintendo characters...

For the latest in Nintendo-related goods, fans can swipe a special edition Mario-themed Switch beginning on February 12. Meanwhile, 007 fans can catch the first nineteen James Bond franchise entries for free thanks to YouTube. No word on the best way to watch the notorious 1994 Super Mario Bros. movie, though. We suggest while wearing a blindfold and earplugs.