What in the absolute hell does Palantir know that we don’t?

The simple, creepy answer is “everything.” But its recent financial decisions point to some truly terrifying possibilities.


Palantir, the Bond villain big data surveillance company with a Bond villain name that routinely and openly aids in killing people like most Bond villains do, announced it will soon accept Bitcoin payments for its Bond villain services. Speaking with Bloomberg yesterday, Palantir’s COO, Shyam Sankar, also explained the company cryptocurrency strategy comes alongside buying up nearly $51 million in gold alongside other investments in preparation for “a future with more black swan events,” a term that can be translated into layman’s terms as “catastrophic geo-political shitshows.”

The information can be found buried within the company’s recent Q2 SEC filings, which confirms that just earlier this month, “the Company purchased $50.7 million in 100-ounce gold bars. Such purchase will initially be kept in a secure third-party facility located in the northeastern United States and the Company is able to take physical possession of the gold bars stored at the facility at any time with reasonable notice.”

This all begs the question: What the fuck does Palantir know that we do not?


It probably already knows where you are right now — It’s hard to exactly quantify how much Peter Thiel’s PreCrime Division knows about you... if we were asked to make a conservative ballpark estimate, we’d say the answer falls somewhere between a “shitload” and “metric fuck-ton.” The AI-driven data analytics company has abetted some of our country’s most heinous endeavors in recent memory, thanks in no small part to its databases cataloging everything from people’s “names, race, gender, addresses, and contact information” alongside “vehicles, warrants, mugshots... tattoos, scars, surveillance photos, and personal relationships,” as we explained last year.

Given its clientele base includes covert intelligence agencies, military agencies, and racist police forces, it’s safe to say that Palantir is privy to a whole host of information that would keep any sensible person up at night. To see it begin investment and integration of alternative currencies like Bitcoin and precious metals doesn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence in the company’s belief that geo-politics or macroeconomics are gonna improve anytime soon.

Overseen by a man buying collapse retreats — It’s also worth mentioning that Palantir was started by Peter Thiel, the multibillionaire co-founder of PayPal who now owns an estate in New Zealand explicitly to ride out a potential societal collapse. It’s hard to find a more nihilistic enterprise than Palantir, but there’s no denying its access to information and data that most could never dream of. If it is engaging what ostensibly amounts to corporate prepper behavior, then it’s worth taking notice and calling into question.