Back in February, Amazon announced its newest Day 1 Editions series entry, Build It, which presented customers with three Alexa-enabled prototype products to pre-order. If enough people chipped in, Amazon would then make those hypothetical devices a reality. As it turns out, the public was not particularly hyped for a smart nutritional scale or minimalist cuckoo clock connected to Alexa — the former only received 61 percent funding, while the latter garnered just 59 percent. The third option, however, somehow made the cut, despite being arguably the least useful and/or cute in the series: a $115 Smart Sticky Note Printer promising to provide hours of entertainment and utility via... um... smart sticky note printing...
We’re sure this will be useful to literally dozens of people— So, what makes Amazon’s voice assist thermal printer so intriguing? Glad you asked! ... No, seriously. We’re glad you asked, because we were thinking the same thing over here.
Um, let’s see. According to the product description, the smart printer comes with a single roll of yellow sticky paper for all your “shopping lists, to-dos, recipes, puzzles, and more.” We aren’t exactly sure what “more” could possibly entail, but hey, humans are a creative species. Maybe someone will think of enough things to use up that entire sticky roll, in which case they can order additional paper in the standard-issue yellow, as well as blue, pink, or white. It’s also a thermal printer, so you won’t need to pony up more cash for additional unnecessary, overpriced refills. How charitable of them.
For all those times you wish Alexa could print an adhesive receipt — It’s also able to sync with Alexa-enabled apps and Echo devices, so you can shout, “Alexa, print a return label for my Smart Sticky Note Thermal Printer” at the top of your lungs in frustration upon realizing you have, once again, been duped by The All-Consuming Bezos Baby™. Perhaps you could also print a list of items you could have bought instead of the Amazon Smart Sticky Note Printer, and slap that on every mirror in your home to remind you of your mistake.
Already missed out on your first chance to buy it — Sadly (for at least one person reading this, statistically speaking), Amazon’s Smart Sticky Note Printer isn’t in stock for additional ordering at the moment. Only those incomprehensible individuals who pre-ordered the thing will be able to get their hands on the item sometime between July and September. We assume Amazon will make the Smart Sticky Note Printer widely available in the coming months, but until then, you’ll just have to settle for hand-writing your shopping lists like the peasant you are.